since I’m going through this season of dryness and frustration, i know i have to feel thankful. not sure how theraputhic this is but I’m going to try.
1) thankful that when i get home, i have a dog who looks at me like I’m his whole world
2) thankful that I’m at work right now and i have window to blog
3) thankful that i have close friends like i*i* who stands by me and comforts me like no other
4) thankful that i have another close friend like l*n who is super far away but she rememebers me like no one else i know in her life
5) thankful for KM who is still with me despite the mean me appearing
6) thankful for my sisters who are now living in their passion. watching them makes me feel young and excited again.
7) thankful for w268, who never fails to make me smile. the youth, joy, aspirations and their ability to be carefree makes me feel invincible.
8) thankful for a good boss who is willing to teach me and shield me from bang bang mang
9) thankful for my Horticulture officer who gave me her flowers (fake ones so they’ll stop dying)
10) thankful for some people who justifies for us.
11) thankful for God who send a fellow colleague to call me and shared with me why she actually left and came back to the company
hey! there really is a lot of things to be thankful for.. try it :)
This made me laugh so hard
one of the most profound questions I’ve heard of. to be honest, i don’t blame the men considering that I have no idea what I want sometimes.
But i figured this would be a good opportunity to express how I feel as a woman and hopefully give some light to our poor men out there. (who are racking their brains for too long leading to —— ‘i think she’s just nuts’)
we’re not. thankfully. we’re just not wired to tell you everything on surface value. but because of our ability to sugar coat, read between the lines and understand how you feel, we are created to be the perfect ‘partner’.
we understand what you need. hence you get the ‘how does she knows what i want?’ and I’m pretty sure you felt darn impressed by your woman’s ability. we’re not psychic, mind you. but we have something called the ‘intuition’. it grows as we get older making us either ‘very sensitive’ or ‘very paranoid’. you decide what’s worst.
but today.. yes, TODAY! i’m going to help or at least try to translate female language to human language. hopefully, KM reads this and heaves a sign of relief.
(1) bitterness
this is one very touchy point for most women. hence, when confession comes in church, the pastor would usually ask us to repent from this.
the free dictionary defines it as ‘marked by resentment or cynicism’. we are not trained to throw our thoughts out verbally. i mean that. when bad things happen or annoying things that the other half does, or really irritating stuff at work, i’ll brush it off by saying ‘sigh. nvm then’.
my mind tells me that. but my heart says no. it remembers. i recall the hurt, i recall the pain.
what i get from men is ‘i don’t understand how she can just blow up and bring back something from the past. it didn’t seemed to matter then.’
what it actually meant to us women is: ‘it did. but its trivial and i don’t want to sound petty.’
next time, your woman tells you ‘nvm’. dig. dig and dig further and let her speak. of course, there needs to be a balance of some sort. but yea. rule of thumb is encourage her to address the issue at the end of the day. between both of you.
(2) pampered
we are made to partner our other halves. we are. i totally agree. the man has a bigger role to play to ensure that both parties are taken care of.
we will wash, cook, clean to make sure that you’re well taken care off. but we need to be spoilt too. as much as we plan to go to you, we want you to plan to come to us. What does that even mean?!?!???
- if we cook for you, bring us out for a dinner date sometimes. monthly or bimonthly would be good enough. put in the effort to dress up, romance us again. (when romance stops, women will feel like their value have dropped, taken for granted or things just got too comfortable) nv ever stop romancing your other half. schedule it if you have to.
- if we wash for you, bring us out to shop! well, to pay or not to pay (this agreement has to be decided between both parties).
- if we clean for you, clean for us too… i know you must be thinking ‘What the heck?’. yes. once in a while, offer to do her dishes. (KM is super good at this. that i must brag. my bf would clean up for me when I’m over his place. it always made me feel good. hence, he gets all my attention when he’s over mine. I tryyyy… to bring him food and wash up for him too..)
- if we respect you, respect us too. don’t let us catch you ogling at another girl’s short skirt or long hair or fair skin for that matter. you won’t want us to count another guy’s six packs in the gym would you?
that said, side note to my ladies.. the one thing I’ve learnt about dating is, never fight or even argue with your other half in front of your friends or his. above all, never put him down in front of them too.
every time i do that i know i broke a code. something that will ruin a man’s pride. respect him, give him the attention, move close up to him. somehow, i know that men just love the idea of how women just look up to them half the time when they are talking about their career, dreams and aspirations.
men in general, loves to feel like their in power. they like to be in control. but what pastor joseph prince says this which i find quite true.
‘the man is the head. woman, the neck. ‘
my man would usually want me to make the decisions with him. big or small. sometimes, i might find it trivial but to him, he wants me to partner him. knows what he needs and what he wants.
women, you play the neck. subtle use of assertion is much better than just blowing up and demanding things your way. (which would usually translate to ‘she’s just acting crazy’)
well, thats all i have now. until next time…
one of my common scenarios:
wootts! finally, the crazy, pure waste of time, presentation is OVER!
as of last night i am a freeR woman. probably cause its out of our hands and I have a new macBook Pro to play with now at work! heh. at least until the new guys come in. Results day is the 29th and I CAN’T WAIT!
well well… I’m just glad things are over.. for now. i don’t think i’ve fully recovered from the previous post but I’m glad that i have other stuff to look forward to.
Lucky for me, I met up with Yan. We didn’t have much to talk about until we were on the topic about work, passion, money etc. And YES… i’ve been procrastinating for the longest time to make up my mind about such things.
I’m going for my interview tomorrow at something I know that I am into. Fingers crossed. I just hope I don’t get slammed at. Heh. :)
Good news is… after i spoke with Yan. She was sharing about how her boyfriend seemed to have problems traveling with her. So she needs company!!!!!!!! woohooo! n yes, she thought i wouldn’t be willing to travel without KM. hmm.. i tot so too. until i realized how badly i needed a quick getaway.
I haven’t gone anywhere since I resigned from my last job to…… now… i mean I need that break. I want to play! or maybe just chill out at the beach. stare into the blue sea… with a cocktail and get a good tan. oh and a book. It’ll probably do KM and I some good too since he’s been packed with work and I haven’t been the nicest girlfriend. I could lose the tension a little.
so yea.. quick getaway coming soon!!!! weeeee……………
p.s yan says I’ve lost weight! (what’s not to like about girlfriends!)
At times the dejection, the rejection, the 2nd place position can make one feel worthless.
It’s so tempting to fall. Many times this week, I wanted to. Just fall. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow. I don’t want to leave the comfort of my own bed.
I’ve never really felt this way. On Sunday was the worst. I didn’t want to walk out of the house. N I must say, it took my alot ALOT of courage to do that.
N that day, I knew courage isn’t about fighting a monster, it isn’t about having to battle but sometimes it could just be about doing normal things and running to someone for help.
It’s not a season. Maybe it is. But what’s scary is, I’ve never felt this downcast. I’ve never felt like I’ve been living for nothing.
That death came up so many times. Isolation too hand in hand. Tears will roll down my eyes so easily off late. I’ve never felt this way.
I feel trapped in a box of darkness. Attempting to break out. With no one I could tell or talk to. Behind closed doors I am stuck in this place I cannot explain.
But this morning, He spoke. Somehow, every time He does, my heart breaks. He wanted to be the first person I speak to each morning and the last person I seek every night.
He reminded me of the encounters I’ve had. How He promised that He’ll always wait for my return.
A life that’s worth living is one that lives for Him. I’m thankful for that grace today.
At least today, I know why I’m alive. At least for today, I know I want to live.
Psalms 123
Watched it with KM first and then w w268. Somehow that bunch always made me feel youthful and a little carefree. :)
I have to say… I can’t wait to watch the blue ray version or hit the comic book stores to find out what happened before!
the Hulk was really awesome! Probably everyone’s new favourite hero. Overall, i enjoyed the company (both times) and the hilarious moments. oh oh! i have to say i liked the script.
Snide remarks are always the best. lol
Some peektures from the previous sunday!
New joint at MEDZ @ Millenia Walk.
To see her again just makes me smile. I felt like I;ve found something I’ve lost.
It felt so far. It felt a little too long since we had a connection of any sorts. In my heart I knew, I’ve lost her heart. maybe the connection. But I didnt mind that at all.. as long as I knew she’s around.
Its a little discreet this post. But I want to keep it that way.
the biggest enemy is yourself. It is true to a certain extend. considering that most of the time, we are either ‘runners’ or ‘facers’. New term we came up with last night. I am a runner.
I run away from anything I am frightened of. Anything that I am unaware of. The great unknown. I used work, people’s stuff to run away from what I need to feel or behave.
‘Facers’ go against what they are afraid of and shout at it. But times, when failures hit them hard, they crumble into a state of depression.
The conversation was pretty good I must say. Though I felt tinges of regret that I wasn’t there for her. Personally, my heart felt that way.
